|
|
|
|
|
what's new?? hahaa the
entire fucking site is new, damnit the crazy mothafucka who thought of
this so called "template" is doing worse then I did in my worst
days.... I wonder what he smoked... hmm neva mind! Well what you see up there is from the last time I updated it, and indeed it was on the day the entire site was built... I started with the template which allready was on the site, but now I've created my own design. I hope you like it, the first site I've built with only a drag and drop editor, and now I am combining HTML and the WYSIWYG (what you see is what you get) method. Thanks to Robert AKA DaPiele who sent me the DreamWeaver 4 program (that's a powerfull designer tool) so I only updated the design, I've put music on my site... and we'll see what will happen next!!! Greetingz from the webmaster (that's me ofcourse) I hope you like it allready. Updated 19 march 2001 |
|
Well I got this site for a week now, the people which were on here B4 kept asking me if I worked on the site, so yep, I'm working at it right NOW!!! This week I called Rianne and I'll go shopping with her on thursday, me and her are all good again!! Friday I went outside with friends and it was all nice, except for a fight, but I had a good time. It has been a long time since I went to see my friends outside because I'm trying to get my life sorted out. I guess alot has changed since I built this site, because I got only positive reactions from it. I've always been ashamed about my life and me doing thinks I didn't want to do. But now I'm realizing I don't have2B afraid of emotions anymore, because when you open up to people will be opened towards you, when you only diss on people, you'll never get a chance to really get to know them.. So I'm trying to be more opened, I say trying because I got used to pretending that I had no problems. Pretending you are doing all good is some kind of self-protection, you don't want to get hurt and you don't want to face reality... But most of the time you don't know how to feel anymore because you get mixed up by your own emotions. Well I really changed alot the last week but how will the outside world respond2that?? Are they capable to understand or even believe me, all they know is that I haven't been outside 4quite some time now. Another thing is, do they really care, I mean who would like to know me that well... In that entire time period no1 from my "normal" friends, not meaning my "best friends" called me or nothing like that. But then again, I haven't been real nice to them either. These are the things I wanna learn... How I handle emotions, even the ones I might not like, without hurting other people, or simply block off... Well I guess it's good for me to think about my life, seeing my failures and that I finally am learning how to cope with them by asking advise from other people. I'm starting2trust people a lil'bit more, and respect them. I don't see everybody like a predator that wants to kill me when I'm not watching anymore. Because that's the way I was, defending myself 24/7 even if it wasn't needed, I feld attacked way too fast... Well this is what I learned about myself in one week and again from Rianne and Antoine in real life and majda from the chat... These are people you can count on these are people I really trust, and may not have that many good friends, but I rather have a few GOOD friends then lotsa "friends from outside" that only like you when you fool arround and shit... |
|
|
|||||||
|
|
